Feb 13 2012
Well I haven’t blogged in a while, mainly because there’s nothing to blog about – nothing has changed. I’m still exhausted wishing the baby would sleep better, stressed about everything and unable to deal with any of it… Pretty much all still there, all the same. I don’t know if I haven’t done enough to change anything but I well and truly give up – I don’t know how to make things better and I don’t think I ever will…
I will just exist and do my job…
Jan 31 2012
Well as usual I jumped the gun! The friends I was referring to popped over just to see me and baby – husband was at work. They did get JJ a present but accidentally forgot it, they do have a lot going on.
This is what I’m like though, any wonder I have no friends!
Jan 27 2012
So Twitter, good idea or not? I have to say I have met some really lovely people through Twitter but sometimes I wonder if constantly checking for updates is healthy? I also find sometimes it can be a constant reminder of things that hurt – people don’t mean it of course things they talk about that seem simple to them might have been hard for others i.e. me. I normally use Twitter to moan and vent which has caused me to lose some friends and probably piss people off – it’s not what I intended to do, I never even expected a reply it was just my way of venting.
I also ended up following and being followed by people who proved to be very annoying and sometimes creepy – easily fixed of course just unfollow and lock your account, I did that of course but sometimes it can cause some “drama”.
Jan 27 2012
So it’s one of those things that people have a difference of opinion on, should babies watch TV? Well I let my baby watch TV, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not but he has learned things from it. I guess it’s all about balance – don’t let it become a babysitter but on the other side don’t let it be this big thing that it’s a treat to watch it.
I have been guilty of letting it mind him for a while, like yesterday when I’d had 3 hours sleep. Although he is so used to it he doesn’t become so engrossed that you can’t get his attention and he’s loving crawling around that most of the time he will watch for a few minutes then crawl to a toy – or me with the laptop.
I just think he’s so used to it being on, whether it is cartoons or something live action it’s not really been an issue to us. I also have no problem with him having favourites and being about to sit as a family and talk about what is going on on the screen – for example he loves Jake and the Neverland Pirates at the end when the sing about the gold doubloons he knows that mummy or daddy will count them out with Jake.
I think that TV will be a part of this household until he can work the remote.
Jan 27 2012
It’s weird but there are few people in my life that I feel like I need to be constantly seeking their approval. I feel like I have to impress them in some way, well not even impress but make them like me. I’m not going to stay who but one of them I used to be good friends with then me, being me, I pissed them off and now I feel like I need to make it up to them.
I’ve felt like this for a long time with these people, I don’t think it’s necessary just one of the weird way I view things I guess.
Jan 26 2012
It’s a terrible thing that I cannot seem to shift the feeling of jealousy and annoyance when people talk about or announce a pregnancy. I have my little miracle and I’m so happy – he is my life! Even though I freak out and get completely stressed out (most of the time actually), I really adore my little man. I guess it’s because of what we went through to have him, and if we ever decided to add to our family it’s not as simple as – lets stop the pill and have lots of sex.
I really hate being like this and I wish I could be happy with what I have, if course I am so happy and lucky to have what I have. It’s hard to explain but it probably just comes across as me being jealous, petty and greedy…
I’m not, honest!
Jan 26 2012
There are currently two things I want to do (for myself) but don’t know if I have the confidence or balls to do them! I’m not going to say what they are until I decide if I’m going to do them…
Mood isn’t great at the moment – baby is not sleeping well at all and I’m not coping very well with it…
Jan 20 2012
When I was pregnant my appetite exploded and I basically ate l round me, which meant of course I put on weight. When baby came I kept about a stone of the weight on plus my shape changed. I changed my style of clothes to basically hide my wobbly bits – which means I’ve been slowly replacing my wardrobe. As of yesterday I still had all my old clothes that don’t fit! So finally I started clearly out my wardrobe, I’m throwing out quite a bit but I’m going to keep things that might fit me in day – silly I know but I can always hope I’ll drop the weight.
The 1/2 price vacuum storage bags will come in handy. I may also need to get a few more storage boxes – a trip to B&Q is required.
Jan 18 2012
Part of my problem is I’m a perfectionist, actually it’s my main problem. I feel I need to have a perfect house and to do everything myself – housework, shopping, cooking, looking after baby etc etc. To a point I should be able to do it all myself, but maybe not in the unachievable way I do it. I feel if I could get on top of everything right now I could maintain it better, but of course I can’t get on top of everything…
I sometimes dread what the day will bring – will the baby nap? What mood will he be in? Do I sleep or do stuff? I have list after after list of things I need/want to do and everyday I add to them. Maybe I’m so exhausted all the time because I worry and stress about everything. How exactly do I know I’m doing an okay job with the baby? I can’t get any feedback to know I’m not screwing him up somehow!
Jan 17 2012
Every once in a while I discover something that works well for me and my current love is Burt’s Bees
I love their anti-blemish range , I’ve been struggling for a long time with my skin I finally found something that works. It’s not the cheapest in the world but I don’t mind paying it – it lasts ages and well it just works!
I was lucky enough to receive some other products for my birthday and Christmas. I’m currently getting through them.
